call me crazy

but i think ashlee simpson looks gorgeous in july's marie claire. (nose job, dye job, eating disorder, whatever. it's working for her. she looks fantastic.)

a kiss on the hand may be quite continental

A few years ago, I inherited a ring. We've kept it in a safe deposit box at the bank ever since, but today we closed the safe deposit box and brought the ring home. I've been wearing it all day (on my right hand, I don't want to jinx anything) and I can't stop staring at it. It's sparkly. It's flawless. It's perfect. It's worth more than double my annual salary. I'm in love.

I now understand why the newly enfianceed gesticulate more wildly and dramatically with their hands, take asinine typing jobs that are beneath them, wave to strangers, glint, glimmer, glow.

I don't want to take it off. (Obviously, I have to. But not until I type some more!)

always the bridesmaid, never the bride

Two people who graduated undergrad with me just got married, to one another, this weekend. No, they didn't make it into the NYT Weddings section, but we did uncover an online wedding announcement, complete with photo in wedding gown. (The rumor is that the wedding was lovely, lavish, Southern.)

A girl I lived with senior year is now engaged, as of this past weekend.

Three of my close friends in Boston have mentioned to me that they expect to be engaged within a year.

Why is it so hard to be happy for everyone else?

is it wrong to consider this?

CM3 Alginate

What It Is
Brown seaweed that expands in your stomach.

Claim
It’s apparently Germany’s best-selling natural appetite suppressant. You can lose five to ten pounds in a week with no side effects, says importer Oz Garcia’s rep.

Lag Time
One week.

Price
$65 for two-week supply.

Drawback
You may be thin and have no diet-pill jitters, but a stomach full of brown algae could have you running to the loo.

(from NYmag)

what i can't stop eating

Preheat oven to 350.
Melt 2 sticks of butter in saute pan.
Stir in 1 cup of brown sugar.
Add 1 cup pecans, simmer for a couple minutes.
Coat 10x15 baking sheet with 12 graham crackers.
Spread butter/sugar/pecan mixture on top of graham crackers.
Cook for 10 minutes.
Let cool completely. Cut along perforations.

(from the Cafe Pongo cookbook, tastes just like toffee. Out of control.)

nyc rooftop bars continued

(from this week's New York mag)

"Rooftops Revisited
Whether it's ostentatious newcomer 230 Fifth, a hidden gem atop a budget hotel, or the first "adult rooftop," there are more options than ever for tippling on top of the world.
By Carla Spartos , Lauren Fonda & Daniel Maurer

230 Fifth
230 Fifth Ave., twentieth fl., between 26th and 27th Sts.; 212-725-4300
If the Miami Vice boys wanted somewhere to land their chopper, not only would the city's largest rooftop bar be spacious enough, but Sonny and Rico would feel right at home among the palm trees and the endless expanse of wooden benches.
The View: The Empire State Building to the north, the MetLife building to the east, and Jersey to the west.
The Menu: $14 cocktails incorporate purées made of guava, cactus, and blood orange; bar snacks range from fried shrimp to the Malaysian Romli Burger.
The Hours: Daily, 4 p.m. to 4 a.m.


A60
60 Thompson, 60 Thompston St., between Spring and Broome Sts.; 877-431-0400
Hotelier Jason Pomeranc's elegant members-only rooftop bar happens to be less exclusive than it seems. Sure, gaining access is a helluva lot easier if you're his gal pal Shannen Doherty, but would-be partiers can also score a key card by getting a room.
The View: The thirteenth-floor terrace showcases the skylines of midtown and lower Manhattan.
The Menu: Mixed drinks with fresh exotic fruits run $10 to $14 while the spicy Thai hors d’oeuvre are similarly priced at $12 to $16.
The Hours: Daily, 5 p.m. to midnight through Labor Day


Bar 13
35 E. 13th St., at University Pl.; 212-979-6677
NYU students who couldn't make it to Florida for spring break seek solace at this campus clubhouse which opened its Miami-themed rooftop garden in June. Amid the palms and illuminated panels, revelers can pretend they're in South Beach—and of legal drinking age.
The View: Opaque screens surrounding the deck mean the only place to look is up.
The Menu: Well drinks are $6, while the 13-ini, the bar's signature Absolute Mandarin-based beverage, costs $7.
The Hours: Mon., 7 p.m. to midnight; Tue., 6 p.m. to 3 a.m.; Wed. to Fri., 5 p.m. to 4 a.m.; Sat., 9 p.m. to 4 a.m.; Sun, 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.


Bed New York
530 W. 27th St., between Tenth and Eleventh Aves.; 212-594-4109
As of Memorial Day weekend, Bed New York is inviting you to rise and shine on the roof. This 7,000-square-foot outdoor haven for hedonists is equipped with the same oversize Tempur-Pedic mattresses as the nightclub's main space, plus two fully stocked bars, and seating areas throughout.
The View: Shots of the Hudson River and the Empire State Building impress, but people-watching may prove more entertaining.
The Menu: Unconventional cocktails include the Bed Knob, a mixture of Knob Creek, maple syrup, lemon, apple cider, ginger beer, and a splash of ginger honey.
The Hours: Mon., 7 p.m. to midnight; Tue. to Wed., 7 p.m. to midnight; Thurs., 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.; Fri. to Sat, 7 p.m. to 4 a.m.; Sun, 2 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Library Hotel, 299 Madison Ave., at 41st St.; 212-983-4500
With its brick walls, lovely floral displays, and abundance of reading material, the terrace of the Library Hotel's rooftop bar could pass for the patio of an Upper East Side townhouse.
The View: The majestic Lefcourt building rises across the street.
The Menu: Elegant concoctions like the Chambord Royale, which artfully blends Stoli Vanilla, Chambord, and fresh grapefruit juice.
The Hours: Mon. to Sat., 4 p.m. to midnight; Sun., closed


Cabana at the Maritime Hotel
Maritime Hotel, 363 W. 16th St., nr. Ninth Ave.; 212-242-4300
Of all the red-hot cocktail aeries that have opened in the past few years, Cabana at the Maritime fulfills the fantasy best. In the summer, this place feels like a trendy L.A. nightclub: heat lamps, leafy plants, tropical wallpaper, strappy sandals, blue cushions, halter tops, and even some celebrities.
The View: Sean Penn, Sam Rockwell, and the sisters Hilton have been sighted in the past.
The Menu: No more frozen mojito, but cool off with a bottle of sake or a martini with fresh lychee juice ($12).
The Hours: Tue. to Thurs., 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.; Fri. to Sat., 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.; Sun. to Mon., closed


The Delancey
168 Delancey St., at Clinton St.; 212-254-9920
At this time of year, the rooftop is this rock club's main draw. As for the bouncer guarding the staircase, he's there to prevent overcrowding, not to grade your outfit. And while lots of bars hype tar roofs as alfresco, this space actually has it going on in a southern-greenhouse sort of way, with benches, fountains, even a grill.
The View: A clear shot of the Williamsburg Bridge.
The Menu: The margarita machine churns out frozen blends for $8 apiece. Meanwhile, bottled beer and well drinks run a reasonable $6.
The Hours: Daily, 4 p.m. to 4 a.m.


The Heights Bar & Grill
2867 Broadway, between 111th and 112th Sts.; 212-866-7035
Students and locals flock to this second-story Morningside Heights bar with its semi-retractable roof. You'll pay $6 for a margarita, but dude, you'll be so wasted you won't even care.
The View: The only thing that will make you feel high up are your beer goggles.
The Menu: Frozen margaritas ($6.50) and stuffed-to-bursting burritos ($5.50-$11.95)
The Hours: Mon. to Wed., 4:30 p.m. to 11 p.m., Thu. to Sun., 11 a.m. to 11 p.m.


Hotel Metro Rooftop Bar
Hotel Metro, 45 W. 35th St., between Fifth and Sixth Aves.; 212-279-3535
We'll grant you it's a bit sketchy, but this rooftop jam is surprisingly fun with cheap beer and an unpretentious after-work crowd.
The View: A close-up of the Empire State Building
The Menu: $5 cans of Bud or $6 bottles of Corona ($3, 5:30pm-7:30pm)
The Hours: Mon. to Sat., 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.; Sun, closed


Hudson Sky Terrace
The Hudson Hotel, 356 W. 58th St., between Eighth and Ninth Aves.; 212-554-6303
Now this is a summer camp we'll never-ever-ever write tear-stained letters—gasp!—begging you to—sob!—pick us up from. Pinky swear. Why just look at the brochure: Fanciful cocktails, table servants (excuse us, service), even a hammock. But since our mom won't give us the money to stay here, we'll be prowling for plastered hotel guests in the Library Bar.
The View: A fifteenth-floor terrace affords glimpses of the Hudson River, as well as Ninth Avenue stretching toward lower Manhattan
The Menu: Refreshments like the Strawberry Coconut Caipirinha and White Sangria practically scream summertime.
The Hours: Daily, noon to 10 p.m. through October


Jade Terrace
China Club, 268 W. 47th St., between Broadway and Eighth Ave.; 212-398-3800
Off the packed and sweaty dance floor, an Asian-themed terrace offers a serene palm-frond oasis. Unlike the other rooftops on this list, the Jade Terrace is primarily a dance club, so if you're looking to avoid cover charges, beefy bouncers, and a hey-baby vibe, go elsewhere. Note: Thursdays boast a buffet. ($20 cover)
The View: A walled-in fourth-floor terrace results in neckcraning to see the Times Square towers.
The Menu: Summer drinks ($9-$15) include mojitos, a white sangria made with champagne instead of wine, and a cocktail incorporating mango vodka and lemon and lime juices.
The Hours: Mon. and Thurs. to Sat, 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.; Sun. and Tue., closed

Larry Flynt's Hustler Club
641 W. 51st St., at Twelfth Ave.; 212-247-2460
The vision of the West Side Highway from the new "adult rooftop" wouldn't inspire anyone to propose to his girlfriend, but that's just fine for the cigar puffers who aren't thinking of marriage when they're staring at the busty barmaid.
The View: Banker wankers killing bills on silicone sisters.
Menu: The Hustler no longer serves food, so make do with a beer or cocktail.
The Hours: Mon-Fri, 6pm-4am; Sat, 8pm-4am; Sun, closed


Local West
1 Penn Pl., Eighth Ave. at 33rd St.; 212-629-7070
Okay, so not much is exhilarating about the rooftop of a one-story building, but those looking to unwind before their train back to the burbs could do worse than snagging a seat at the smattering of tables or at the elevated patio bar atop this casual beer bar near Penn Station.
The View: Chat up the folks on the upper decks of the tour buses that constantly roll by.
Menu: Sliders, nachos, chicken tenders: You get the idea. Pomegranate martini, $10; beers, $6.
The Hours: Daily, 11am-2am


Me Bar
17 W. 32nd St., between Broadway and Fifth Ave.; fourteenth fl.; 212-290-2460
This Koreatown rooftop boîte, hidden atop the La Quinta budget hotel, is the antidote to karaoke-room claustrophobia. Although throw pillows and beach chairs lend a beach-house vibe, the drink prices are decidedly left of Hamptons.
The View: Who cares that you're drinking with tourists when the Empire State Building is all aglow directly overhead.
The Menu: A sheaf of delivery menus rescues those swayed by the pomegranate martini, made with liqueur and cranberry juice. During the 5:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. happy hour, a $1 discount means $4-$5 beers and $5-$8 wines.
The Hours: Daily, 5:30 p.m. to midnight.

The Park
118 Tenth Ave., between 17th and 18th Sts.; 212-352-3313
Our young spies say that the Park, which has seen scads of A-list celebs and Vice-toting debs pass through its kooky environs over the years, shows zilch signs of cooling (hell, Gisele Bundchen threw a modelicious bash here, so there you have it). But just as sexy as its patrons is the rooftop penthouse, complete with a hot tub that's known to get especially naughty on Sunday nights, when the boys come out for a romp in "The Rambles."
The View: Eye candy compensates for a lackluster third-floor-level take on West Chelsea.
The Menu: Nobody's here for the food: It's all about the sangria, $11 fresh-fruit cocktails such as the banana coolata (vanilla, Kalhua, fresh banana purée, and sweetened coconut milk) and mango and raspberry mojitos.
The Hours: Fri-Sat, 11pm-4am; Mon-Thu, Sun, closed

The Pen-Top Bar & Terrace
The Peninsula Hotel, 700 Fifth Ave., at 55th St.; 212-903-3097
The Pen-Top's clubby vibe and Astroturf has been replaced with a new glass-encased bar resembling a big block of incandescent ice. Kinda cool in a slick 007 way, but sorta cheesy and souped-up Mars 2112, too. Still, there's no shortage of tables on the sizable slate-topped terrace.
The View: Stunning views of Fifth Avenue and Central Park, as well as midtown architectural gems like the Citicorp Center.
The Menu: $20 apple martinis and the $80 Jewel in a Glass (Louis Roederer Cristal and Dolce Far Niente) keep out the riffraff.
The Hours: Fri. to Sat., 4 p.m. to 1 a.m.; Mon. to Thurs., 4 p.m. to midnight through September 30


Plunge
Hotel Gansevoort, 18 Ninth Ave., at 13th St.; 877-426-7386
Elbow your way into the elevator and travel up to the hip and hellishly crowded Plunge, in the fifteen-floor penthouse. You'll exit directly into the bar area, which is open when the weather is warm and covered by a glass greenhouse-like structure when it's rainy or chilly.
The View: Great shots of lower Manhattan and New Jersey, not to mention the Soho House's pool.
The Menu: Basic cocktails start at $14.
The Hours: Daily, 11am-4am


Rare View
Shelburne Murray Hill, 303 Lexington Ave., at 37th St.; 212-481-1999
Rare Bar & Grill, the popular hamburger eatery inside the Shelburne, has taken charge of the hotel's roof bar and decked it out with tables, chairs, and an elevated bed. The efforts have paid off as twentysomething Murray Hillers are making this a pre-party pit stop. Just don't say we didn't warn you about the bathroom lines.
The View: A sixteenth-floor bar with outstanding midtown views, including the Chrysler Building
The Menu: $15 mango margaritas and blood-orange cosmos, as well as hulking burgers downstairs in the grill.
The Hours: Mon. to Sat., 4:30 p.m. to 11 p.m.; Sun, closed


Roof Garden Café
The Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Roof Garden, Metropolitan Museum of Art, 1000 Fifth Ave., at 82nd St.; 212-535-7710
So...if that Andy Goldsworthy sculpture could speak, what do you think it would say? We'll let you puzzle that out, up on the romantic rooftop of the Met, where art, hot Italian tourists, frozen daiquiris, and colossal Central Park views converge into one juggernaut of a drinking experience. If you can't manage a pickup line in a place like this well, then, you're hopeless.
The View: A fifth-floor garden surrounded by the park, its skyline, and sculpture installations that change every summer.
The Menu: Sparkling wine and ham-and-brie baguettes.
The Hours: Fri. to Sat., 10 a.m. to 8:30 p.m.; Tue. to Thurs. and Sun., 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.; Mon, closed

The Terrace at Sutton Place Bar and Restaurant
1015 Second Ave., between 53rd and 54th Sts.; 212-207-3777
The good news first: Sutton Place has a huge rooftop patio with lots of tables and a long, snaking bar worthy of Club Med. The bad news: It's a tad bland in that East Side sports-guy kind of way. Apparently some people just feel more comfortable in khakis.
The View: A third-floor terrace overlooking Second Avenue.
The Menu: $8 cocktails and generic pub grub
The Hours: Sun. to Wed., noon to 1 a.m.; Thu. to Sat., noon to 4 a.m."

doot dootela doot doot doot doot doo

Advance tickets for the Boston Ballet's The Nutcracker are now on sale.

Because who doesn't love the Nutcracker?

the reservation is confirmed

Friday, July 21.

Be ready at 7 o' clock.

For drinks...

dinner...

and beyond.

(Birthday festivities, my treat.)

clearly this is on the to-do list

"S'MAC (short for Sarita's Macaroni & Cheese) is an exciting new eatery located in the heart of Manhattan's East Village.


We specialize in, you guessed it, Macaroni & Cheese! Our menu is simple yet delicious with a variety of "MACS" available. Come check us out -- you won't be disappointed! You can eat-in, take-out or for those days that you just don't want to change out of your pj's, we do offer delivery." (from http://smacnyc.com)

(opening weekend of june 24, east 12th street, see below for menu)

"ALL-AMERICAN
Nosh: $4.25
Major Munch: $6.50
Mongo: $11.00 Just the way you remember it as a kid! Nostalgia at its finest - a tasty blend of American & Cheddar cheeses.

4 CHEESE
Nosh: $5.75
Major Munch: $8.00
Mongo:$14.00 Our four cheese delight! Muenster and American with a touch of Gorgonzola, topped off with sharp Cheddar.

CHEESEBURGER
Nosh: $5.75
Major Munch: $8.00
Mongo: $14.00 For the Hearty Meat Eater! Ground Beef done to perfection with onions, garlic and a hint of ketchup and mustard. Don't forget the best part - a combination of American and Cheddar cheeses.

MOZZARELLA
Nosh: $5.75
Major Munch: $8.00
Mongo: $14.00 Like Neapolitan Pizza? Then you'll love this! Fresh Mozzarella, roasted tomatoes, roasted garlic, and fresh basil. Yum!

GOAT CHEESE
Nosh: $6.75
Major Munch: $9.00
Mongo: $16.00 Be swept away to the Mediterranean Sea - Goat cheese, sauteed spinach, kalamata olives, and roasted garlic. You can almost feel the breeze from the water...

GRUYERE
Nosh: $6.75
Major Munch: $9.00
Mongo: $16.00 A Swiss Mac that keeps you coming back for more. Gruyere coupled with its partner in crime, slab bacon. Hard to resist!

MANCHEGO
Nosh: $6.75
Major Munch: $9.00
Mongo: $16.00 A taste of Spain right at your fingertips! Flavorful Manchego cheese accented by fresh fennel and shallots. Delicious!

BRIE
Nosh: $6.75
Major Munch: $9.00
Mongo: $16.00 Mac-n-Cheese for the "upper crust". Creamy Brie, roasted figs, roasted shiitake mushrooms & fresh rosemary. It's addictive!

GARDEN (Lite)
Nosh: $6.75
Major Munch: $9.00
Mongo: $16.00 Don't let the "Lite" fool you - this baby is as satisfying as any of the other MACs! Lite Cheddar, Parmesan, roasted cauliflower and portobello mushrooms, roasted garlic, broccoli and scallions.

CAJUN
Nosh: $6.75
Major Munch: $9.00
Mongo: $16.00 If you are looking for some kick, here it is. Cheddar & Pepper Jack cheeses, andouille sausage, green pepper, onions, celery, garlic and, of course, some genuine Cajun seasoning."
(also from website)

addendum

j. crew is continually adding new sizes, colors, and styles to their online sale.

with perfect pitch online sasame, i've purchased these:

i'm going with the bluefly theory of "order it immediately before some other bitch does, make liberal use of their wonderful return policy."

60 calorie meal (haiku review)

Dannon Lite N Fit Carb & Sugar Control smoothie (A Haiku Review):

Sixty Calories.
Better than regular one.*
Cool, sweet, filling, yum.

*Note: By Regular I mean Lite N Fit 70 calorie.

poetry tuesdays

Touch Me, by Stanley Kunitz

Summer is late, my heart.
Words plucked out of the air
some forty years ago
when I was wild with love
and torn almost in two
scatter like leaves this night
of whistling wind and rain.
It is my heart that's late,
it is my song that's flown.
Outdoors all afternoon
under a gunmetal sky
staking my garden down,
I kneeled to the crickets trilling
underfoot as if about
to burst from their crusty shells;
and like a child again
marveled to hear so clear
and brave a music pour
from such a small machine.
What makes the engine go?
Desire, desire, desire.
The longing for the dance
stirs in the buried life.
One season only,
and it's done.
So let the battered old willow
thrash against the windowpanes
and the house timbers creak.
Darling, do you remember
the man you married? Touch me,
remind me who I am.

TB's Cast of Characters (for easy reference)

Jolie: Alien-searching high school exboyfriend. Now completely platonic friends, thankyouverymuch When Harry Met Sally.

Etchasketch: College exboyfriend, we go for dates with lots of sexual tension, sometimes fulfilled, sometimes unfulfilled.

ExBoy: The One Who Dumped Me. Who I still love. (God that sucks to type.)

The Man: 35-year old who I went on a few dates with before he went crazy. Unfortunately he lives three blocks away and I run into him constantly.

The One Who Got Away: Another college exboyfriend, who I have little to no contact with.

The One With A Girl's Name: College dalliance, who brought me to the Southampton Bathing Corp & Shinnecock Golf club, even though my Jack Rogers were black/white instead of pastel.

The Friend: K's exboyfriend's friend. Who I'm hoping will call.

A: Roommate. (Conveniently, both CB's and my roommates are named A.)

K: Best Friend from college.

The Wasp: A's boyfriend.

update on The Friend

so apparently The Friend *did* ask K's ex for my number, but K's ex "dropped the ball" and didn't give it to him. Until two days ago, when he did. And still, no call.

And yet I'm still imagining traipsing all around the city with my Summer Love-to-be. Meeting after work for a cold beer & a sunset on my roofdeck. Weekends at his house on the Cape. Dinner at all the restaurants I've starred in Zagat's. Cobblestones in the North End. Double dates with A and The Wasp.

Sigh. This is why girls are crazy.

(Note: The Friend is perhaps a misnomer. He is not *my* friend. He is the friend of my best friend's exboyfriend. Please try to keep up.)

j.crew 25% off sale

with this,



... i bought:

this


and this


and this


and this.


(worth checking back often, they keep adding new stuff.)

in june, i will read...

in case we don't get invited back to the roofdeck apartment

a nyt list of ny bars with roof decks

http://travel2.nytimes.com/2006/05/21/travel/21weekend.html

wanted dead or alive

Dead To Me:
ExBoy (for the first time since the break-up, I think he is acting like a jerk)
CCC (we spoke online and he is SO boring)
Boy From Saturday (who still hasn't called)
G From Saturday (who hasn't called K and therefore hasn't gotten BFS my number)

Loving Right Now:
Etchasketch
Everyone At My New Job (so wonderful)
My New Landlord (he's getting me blackout shades, a la PK!)
Neutrogena Lip Gloss

signed, sealed, delivered, i'm yours

Just signed my contract! Now they're stuck with me!

So excited. So feel like I made the right decision.

my year in food

Champagne and foie gras at Mistral, to celebrate endings and beginnings.

Tiny empanadas and muchos mojitos with the girls at Chez Henri on the bar menu. Bouillabaisse and oysters with The Man at Chez Henri in the dining room.

Dirty martinis with blue cheese-stuffed olives and grilled flatbreads at the Charles Hotel to console after a break-up.

Pad thai and sour coconut soup in your pajamas on your couch, comfort food delivery from 9 Tastes during the cold, the sad, the depressed, after the arrest. Cinderella’s for pizza and fettucini alfredo when you don’t leave your house for days.

Salty fried bacalao and curls of prosciutto at Café Portugal after the courthouse, when we try to pretend it will all be okay.

Memphis pork ribs, Texas beef ribs, Georgia pulled pork, cornbread, candied yams, and gooey mac&cheese at Redbones when you want to stop caring that you’re the only single person (more food for you).

Enormous burgers with sweet potato fries at Mr & Mrs Bartley Burger Cottage when the rain is cold and unending.

Endless baskets of tortilla chips and Coronas (extra lime) at Border Café, when thing are still new and awkward in the way that only margaritas can fix.

Oaky chardonnay, a plate of fresh hummus and pita, and heavenly French fries (not on the menu) at Casablanca on Thursday nights, when Paul keeps the bar open late for us.

Cheese fondue at Grendel’s during half-priced-food-happy-hour when you’ll be lost in conversation catching up with a friend. Cheese fondue at Temple Bar when you don’t want just a vat o’ melted cheese.

Asian Chicken salad at b. good when you’re down to ninety-five pounds and want to be with other girls who feel safest in baggy dresses, cracked hands, when they know calorie counts, when nothing is left up to chance.

Risotto and fried calamari in honor of the unexpected, dinner at Temple Bar. Too-expensive bottles of wine at Temple Bar at 2am with boys whose names you can’t keep straight.

Fried brie at Shay’s, with “the cheapest Chardonnay that’s chilled” until the bartender takes pity and upgrades you, no charge.

Squid in black ink linguine at No Name Restaurant, where the waiter asks on the eve of a Noreaster: are you going home to be snowed in together?

A cheese tasting, a wine tasting, a kiss at Butcher Shop.

Fruity cocktails at Red Line, to dance and flirt and forget. Tequila shots at Tommy Doyle’s when the cocktails aren’t strong enough.

H.J.N.T.I.Y.

"Chapter One: he's just not that into you if he's not asking you out

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.

Many women have said to me, "Greg, men run the world." Wow. That makes us sound pretty capable. So tell me, why would you think we could be incapable of something as simple as picking up the phone and asking you out? You seem to think at times that we're "too shy" or we "just got out of something." Let me remind you: Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. (Particularly after a difficult day of running the world.) If we want you, we will find you. If you don't think you gave him enough time to notice you, take the time it took you to notice him and divide it by half."

...

"When men want you, they do the work. I know it sounds old school, but when men like women, they ask them out."

...

"Have faith. You made an impression. Leave it at that. If he likes you, he'll still remember you after the tsunami, flood, or Red Sox loss. If he doesn't, he's not worth your time. Know why? You are great. (Now, don't get cocky.)"

passover redux

If He had not kept his hand on the small of my back all night long.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had not said we would go out.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had not tried to get in the cab with us.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had not said it was perfect, fortuitous, lucky that we found each other.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had asked me on a date.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had called me.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had asked me for my phone number.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had asked K's ex for my phone number.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had facebook messaged me.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

If He had not been so cute.
Dayenu: It Would Have Been Enough.

Dayenu. Dayenu. Dayenu.
He's just not that into you.

(Singing Dayenu optional.)

*I give up. I have no idea about boys. No fucking clue.

back on the wagon

Spent the morning walking around in my MBT "Anything for Beauty" sneakers, now snacking on sliced cucumber with Laughing Cow light French Onion cheese spread (cucumbers have like zero calories; half a large cucumber is 15 calories (100 g).

If I'm getting nekkid in front of Etchasketch, I want to look good.

for your convenience

Topics for you to blog about:

The wetsuit.
The wedding.

two observations

1. etchasketch is, in fact, very good looking. (even better looking now than when we were together, je pense.)
2. and also a very good kisser.

*note: ran into exboy's friend while out with etchasketch! exboy despises etchasketch. can't wait for fireworks.

great hair

new discovery:

Oscar Blandi Jasmine Oil Serum

smells amazing, cuts frizz, makes hair softer, etc etc etc.

won-der-ful.

(Love love loving oil in general lately, I guess. The Laura Mercier light cleansing oil is also high on my list.)

poetry tuesdays

(one of three poems I know by heart.)


somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond, by ee cummings

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

you know you're pathetic when...

(in my inbox today)

From: A
To: Tarabeet
Date: Jun 12, 2006 5:19 PM
Subject: the bachelor

You can apply to the bachelor for a few months in rome!
its due today!
a prince in rome!

http://thebachelor.warnerbros.com/

stupidest headline ever

Apple surpasses beer on college campuses: Undergrads rate their iPods as more 'in' than beer

...This year, drinking beer and Facebook.com, a social networking Web site, were tied for second most popular, with 71 percent of the students identifying them as "in."

(from cnn.com)

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/07/college.in.ap/index.html

Summer To-Do List

I don't start work until July 24. Things to do before then:

Read A People's History of the United States, Variations on a Blue Guitar, The Passionate Mind of Maxine Greene, Random Family.

Travel somewhere exotic.

Start running every day again, 5 miles a day.

Lose 10 lbs.

Spend a week at the beach.

Kelly Clarkson concert.

CB's Bday party.

Last Supper with ExBoy before we both start totally different lives.

Paint new apartment. Move into new apartment. Have housewarming roof BBQ at new apartment.

commencements and endings

yesterday, I got dressed (cap & gown, Harry Potter-esque hood) and sprinted out into the rain to meet my friends for photos before "process-ing." My phone rang. Unidentified number. I let it go to voicemail. Midway through the most boring ceremony alive (is a 10minute Latin oration really necessary?), I remembered to check my voicemail. A wonderful man named Sam was calling to tell me I had been sent flowers, and to arrange delivery.

We took bets on who the flowers were from to kill time. The Man, perhaps? He did know I was graduating today, but we haven't spoken in weeks. K, who appreciates flowers as much as she appreciates shoes? Jolie, who sent me a text message that read "a special day for a special lady. congrats. i am so proud of u," and has a penchant for random gifts? Definitely not his style. The ExBoy, I secretly wished and hoped a little bit? This year has not turned out like I imagined it would. My parents and brother were not supposed to be at commencement yesterday; he was. They only booked their hotel a month ago, when it became real that he would no longer be coming and I would have no one. Now he's moving even farther away and I'm staying here and it's seriously over even though we promised that we could get through this year.

The flowers, an enormous gorgeous arrangement, were from my favorite aunt & uncle & cousins. I was embarassed at how quickly I tore open the card, how I had let myself believe that they would be from the ExBoy, how I was disappointed when they were not.

He called me last night, left me a congratulatory voicemail. It was nice of him, I would have been pleased that he remembered if not for the false hopes of the flowers earlier in the day.

2 outta 3 is bad

(Since it seems like he will be featured in many upcoming posts, I'm dubbing A's boyfriend The Wasp.)

The Wasp took us out for drinks earlier this week to console us about the hellhole apartments we had been seeing- tiny bedrooms, moldy bathrooms, the T rushing past windows & literally knocking down a picture frame. There had to be something better, right?

'You guys will definitely find something good. Definitely,' The Wasp proclaims.

'How are you so sure?' ask I, naively.

'Because A has a great boyfriend, and you have a great job... so you'll both find a great apartment!'

'Huh? What do those have to do with anything?'

He clears his throat as if imparting great Wisdom, smiles proudly to be In The Know, that his knowledge will be comforting his girlfriend and her friend, that he can be the allknowing and allhelpul Man. 'Everyone knows you can only have two out of three at a time. Great relationship, great job, great apartment. So you guys will be SET on the apartment!' He smiles. He is clearly pleased with himself. He thinks he has solved our problem. He thinks he has reassured us.

'Wait, that means that I'll never find a job!' A wails.

It dawns on me. 'That means I'll never find a BOYFRIEND, you jerk!'

His smile fades. He stammers. 'Uh, well, uh...'

Let's hope his retarded logic does not prove true, because I now have a fabulous job (to start July 24, we will have to do birthday festivities before I leave), a wonderful apartment (so charming, so perfect for dinner parties & visits from CB, so in a great location, A so has a closet for a room), and... ?

apartment search continued

finally found two apartments that we like a lot today...

in one, the bedroom has no closets... wardrobe from Ikea it is! (if we take this apt, I mean)

CB, do you have the Rakke? It looks familiar.

poetry tuesdays

For Grace, After A Party, by Frank O'Hara

You do not always know what I am feeling.
Last night in the warm spring air while I was
blazing my tirade against someone who doesn't
interest
me, it was love for you that set me
afire,

and isn't it odd? for in rooms full of
strangers my most tender feelings
writhe and
bear the fruit of screaming. Put out your hand,
isn't there
an ashtray, suddenly, there? beside
the bed? And someone you love enters the room
and says wouldn't
you like the eggs a little

different today?
And when they arrive they are
just plain scrambled eggs and the warm weather
is holding.

Where I've been lately

Trekking around apartment-hunting, making small talk with brokers so they like us, negotiating job offers, tripping on cobblestones, picking up caps & gowns & hoods, eating too much, exercising not enough, cleaning my apartment for the 25 people scheduled to come for lunch tomorrow, seeing more apartments, trying to fathom how people could live in such places, trying to fathom if I could live in such a place, hearing that A. plans to spend 4 weeknights with her boyfriend at our apartment and weekend nights at his, being dumbstruck, feeling suckered, wondering if I should look for a studio, wondering if I will be homeless when my lease ends, feeling newfound compassion for the homeless, looking at more apartments, wandering the aisles of Whole Foods looking for TrueLemon to no avail, getting in a fight with Whole Foods customer service, seeing more apartments, making more small talk with brokers, trolling Craigslist, stepping in dog poop accidentally.

Highly Classified

The latest news from my sasame-in-the-trenches-spies about Theory sample sale 2006 re-stocking:

Lots of slacks in 00's
Still a dearth of full suits in small sizes
Some cute pencil skirts in small sizes
Bermuda shorts abound
Still lots of great tanks, cashmeres, fun dresses

In general: Worth a looksee if there's no line.

Enter at your own risk.

free beauty samples

For the starving grad student/ law student/ non-profit employee:

1. Go to Mariobadescu.com
2. Click on Consulting.
3. Fill out a questionnaire.
4. Wait 1 week.
5. Receive product samples.

Theory Sample Sale 2006

The line(s): 1.5 hrs to get inside. 8 mins to get into the dressing room. 3 mins for sweaters. No line to pay. (Note, this was on Saturday, allegedly on the "advance preview" day.)

In sum: Far fewer suits (in 00's, 0's, and 2's) than last year. Overall, a far worse sale. (Probably because the collection in general was much stronger this year, and probably sold better in stores.) Nice basic cashmere sweater selection, good tank tops & shells, good selection of tubular's, some lovely dresses.

I bought: Various tank tops (to go under suits) at $25 each, Suit jacket to match pencil skirt I already own, Black strappy dress, Muted eggplant raw silk minidress, Black satin vneck dress, Grey/brown trousers, Cashmere V-neck sweaters in Golf Green and Cream, wonderful silver/grey cami...

Photo documentation: To come.

More merchandise: Tonight.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
theory

* current Spring / Summer merchandise
* sizes 0 - 12 / petite - xlarge
* 25,000 units


theory wovens

- all cami's $49
- all denim (jeans, shorts & jackets) $59
- all shorts $59
- all shirts $69
- all skirts $79
- all pants $89
- all dresses $99
- all jackets $129
- all outerwear $179


theory sweaters, knits & accessories

- all tubular $25
- all tee's $25
- all belts $39
- all cami's $59
- all "steady" sweaters $59
- all "T-Shirt" dresses $59
- all cashmere $79
- all other sweaters $59

Wedding Section Greatest Hits

I think this is set to be a weekly feature. I already send out emails discussing the Vows column anyway, why not post them in blog form? (PS are we to believe that your dwarf emails have ceased, CB?) Poetry Tuesdays, Wedding Section Sundays...


Match made in heaven? Does she secretly hate him? Discuss.

Mrs. Murphy, 30, is a strategic planner at Anomaly, a marketing and advertising company in Manhattan. She graduated from the University of Richmond and has two graduate degrees in psychology, a master's from the University of Virginia and a doctorate from Harvard.
...
Mr. Murphy, 29, is a freelance art director at advertising agencies in Manhattan. He is also a street performer known as Chengwin, for which he dons a half chicken, half penguin outfit. He graduated from the Rhode Island School of Design.

(Yes. Chengwin. Let that sink in for a minute... and now, if you needed more to suspect this was the biggest joke of an announcement ever...)

...
The couple's first date was during the Northeast blizzard of December 2000, when Mr. Murphy convinced Ms. Schoeffel to accompany him to Prospect Park in Brooklyn to play in the snow.

"We bought a blowup sled on Atlantic Avenue," Ms. Schoeffel recalled. So as to gain momentum, Mr. Murphy suggested that he get a running start and that Ms. Schoeffel jump on his back.

"Which sounded like a good idea at the time," she said.

He ran. She jumped. And they both went tumbling. Mr. Murphy plunged headfirst into the snow. "And my head went into his," Ms. Schoeffel said.

The blow knocked her out.

Mr. Murphy said, "I took snow and cleaned the blood off her nose and mouth." Seeing his date bruised and bloodied had a strong impact on him. "I got this overwhelming need to protect and care for her," he said.

Ms. Schoeffel regained consciousness, and they went to a hospital emergency room, where the doctor said her nose was broken. Ms. Schoeffel recovered, but snow still makes her nervous.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/04/fashion/weddings/04scho.html

donna martin graduates

i'm sure by now everyone has seen the pictures of david silver... i mean... brian austin green being, um, serviced while at an outdoor cafe?

(if not, you can find the full series on http://www.wwtdd.com/index.php?type=one&i=964)

the best part, though, is just to look at b.a.g.'s facial expressions:


"are you kidding me?"


"i'm playing it cool. no one will ever suspect..."


"tee hee"


"donna martin never did this! score!"

coming soon

- full review of theory sample sale 2006
- top 10 mac & cheese. ever.
- what i'm doing with my life