Ring #2

WHILE we're posting rings,

I may as well go hog-wild and post my Dream Ring. (Up until recently it had been just a plain solitaire in a platinum setting but now I think this one is gorgeous. Cushion cut, preferably, for max sparkle).

Post Break-Up, I've sort of discovered something:

I feel like I take up less space in the world, now that I'm not with The Boy anymore.

Not in a good way. I feel like I matter less, somehow. In college, my friends & I used to joke around about, if we were kidnapped, how long would it take before people would realize? It varied, girl to girl. Some girls were very much always around, and we gave them only a few hours before we'd be calling the police. Here, I live alone. I used to talk to The Boy every morning and every night, so he would definitely know if I were M.I.A. My friends who I'm in classes with would theoretically realize if I missed a Tuesday or Thursday class, but if I vanished on a Friday, no one would realize until Tuesday. It's a lonely feeling.

I know the websites that he posts on, and I've been reading them a little bit (hey, it's public property!). I found out that it is a distinct possibility that he will not be in New York next year. If he goes to the city that is now in consideration, I will not be able to "coincidentally" end up there. We will have no chance of getting back together. I don't know why this upsets me so much; it's not like we have PLANS to get back together.

This is depressing. I wouldn't admit this to anyone. But you're right. There's something in the anonymity.