Jean-ious

I once read that the average woman tries on 40 pairs of jeans before she buys one.

I mean, honestly, it is SUCH a production. First, I discover that bloomingdales has switched around the entire set-up of the store, allegedly to "increase flow" or some other such nonsense, and I am totally lost. Finally I manage to navigate around, but am still totally thrown off. Can someone please explain these "skinny cut cigarette jeans" to me? Relative to I'd say 95% of the population, I would be considered a skinny girl. These things make me look ENORMOUS. They are just not flattering if you weigh more than 90 pounds. So I have to pick through those, making sure that I find something with at least a slight bootcut.

Then, I try on 398450395843098 pairs of jeans. No rhyme or reason to sizes, sending salesgirls out right&left to find more. I emerge from the dressing room with two pairs of jeans, feeling like I've gone through a freakin' war. (Mind you, this entire experience is roughly four trillion times better than when I tried to go to a boutique with an armful of jeans, only to be told that you can only bring in ONE PAIR AT A TIME. You must be joking, I said. The whole point is that you have to COMPARE.)

Only to realize that I still have to go get these stupid jeans shortened, and until I do so, they are totally useless.

Sigh.