Letter

Dear Friend,

I have spent the past day looking at books on Amazon.com with titles such as "He's Just Not that Into You," "It's Called A Break-Up Because It's Broken," and "How To Break Your Addiction to a Person." I have reached a new low.

So forgive me if I don't want to hear about the gorgeous dog you're pet-setting for, or the gorgeous boyfriend who bought you gorgeous Marc Jacobs sunglasses for no occasion in particular, or the gorgeous house you're living in for the week, or the gorgeous vacation you just took to a gorgeous little island.

It's not that I'm not happy for you. I am. And I even might be able to stomach all this gorgeousness, if you didn't INTERRUPT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF MY STORY, COMPLETE WITH TEARS & HYPERVENTILATION, to tell me about all this. Also, if this hadn't happened the past FOUR TIMES WE'VE SPOKEN.

So don't be alarmed that I'm not returning your phone calls. I'm taking a gorgeous little break from you.

Love,
Me.