recent emails from my mom

because i agree with charlabeet, there is nothing funnier than old people emailing.

for the record, my mother goes to sleep at 9:30 every night, and then wakes up in the middle of the night to eat leftovers. she says her "tapeworm" makes her do it. (no, she does not take ambien.)


From: my mom
Date: Apr 13, 2006 12:08 AM
Subject: Re: NYTimes.com: Ban on Most Caviar Extended Indefinitely

this is a very, very sad situation....
____________________________________________________________

From: my mom
Date: Apr 6, 2006 4:40 AM
Subject: tape strikes again...i may need to get violent!

tape is getting to be a big pain in the ass!
i think tape and [dog] are in this together.
i miss you guys!
any advice?
btw..tape polished off meatball parm AND minestrone soup!
xox
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Apr 6, 2006 11:37 PM
Subject: Re: tape strikes again...i may need to get violent!

ok...i'm going to sleep now...keeping tape up late so he/ she/ it/
doesn't wake me up in middle of the night.
plus there isn't any thing great to eat in the fridge!

(that doesn't stop tape though)
love you guys tons!
xox
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Apr 5, 2006 1:19 AM
Subject: hi from tape
hi guys and girls

tape sends his love...
all our love
xox
mom & tape
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Mar 13, 2006 4:37 AM
Subject: xox

i love you friend!

xox
tape
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Mar 10, 2006 5:03 AM
Subject: tape

dear [tarabeet]
has your human made you pasta with truffle oil yet?
she should!

xox
t.w.
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Feb 5, 2006 10:57 PM
Subject: Re: t.w now has questions (in middle of the night no less)

dear [tarabeet]

i'm hoping not to disturb your mom tonight
(and plus she's in a really bad mood)

just asking, you have no new gossip on cheryl & lance?
your mom says that they are a bore.

xox
t.w