more fun emailing with mummy

>>>From: mom
>>>To: me
>>>Fwd: News from The Smoking Gun
>>>
>>>read the first story...denise richards and charlie sheen..
>>>holy moly!
>>>
>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>From: editor@thesmokinggun.com
>>>To: tsgnews
>>>Sent: Mon, 24 Apr 2006 01:44:16 -0400
>>>Subject: News from The Smoking Gun
>>>
>>>Most 17-page documents we've published have had
>>>a dead spot here or there, places where the narrative
>>>drags or reads like boilerplate. And then there's the
>>>blistering court declaration filed last week by the actress
>>>Denise Richards in her divorce case against Charlie Sheen.
>>>With its allegations about drugs, gambling, death threats,
>>>sketchy web sites, and ladies of the evening, the Richards
>>>document is a stunning page-turner. So read it here:
>>>
>>>http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0421061sheen1.html


>>From: me
>>To: mom
>>
>>wow! and now denise richards is with her best frinds' ex husb, richie
>>sambora (was married to heather locklear)


>From: mom
>To: me
>
>(really bizarre is heather with david spade!)

older people emailing

From: my grandparents
Date: Apr 16, 2006 11:27 PM

we missed you and love you and we are going to see the METs tomorrow night
thanks to your dad. kisses

_________________________________________________________________
From: my grandparents
Date: Apr 16, 2006 11:31 PM

love you and we are going to see the METs tomorrow night thanks to your dad.
Missed you at Seder.

recent emails from my mom

because i agree with charlabeet, there is nothing funnier than old people emailing.

for the record, my mother goes to sleep at 9:30 every night, and then wakes up in the middle of the night to eat leftovers. she says her "tapeworm" makes her do it. (no, she does not take ambien.)


From: my mom
Date: Apr 13, 2006 12:08 AM
Subject: Re: NYTimes.com: Ban on Most Caviar Extended Indefinitely

this is a very, very sad situation....
____________________________________________________________

From: my mom
Date: Apr 6, 2006 4:40 AM
Subject: tape strikes again...i may need to get violent!

tape is getting to be a big pain in the ass!
i think tape and [dog] are in this together.
i miss you guys!
any advice?
btw..tape polished off meatball parm AND minestrone soup!
xox
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Apr 6, 2006 11:37 PM
Subject: Re: tape strikes again...i may need to get violent!

ok...i'm going to sleep now...keeping tape up late so he/ she/ it/
doesn't wake me up in middle of the night.
plus there isn't any thing great to eat in the fridge!

(that doesn't stop tape though)
love you guys tons!
xox
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Apr 5, 2006 1:19 AM
Subject: hi from tape
hi guys and girls

tape sends his love...
all our love
xox
mom & tape
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Mar 13, 2006 4:37 AM
Subject: xox

i love you friend!

xox
tape
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Mar 10, 2006 5:03 AM
Subject: tape

dear [tarabeet]
has your human made you pasta with truffle oil yet?
she should!

xox
t.w.
____________________________________________________________

From: mom
Date: Feb 5, 2006 10:57 PM
Subject: Re: t.w now has questions (in middle of the night no less)

dear [tarabeet]

i'm hoping not to disturb your mom tonight
(and plus she's in a really bad mood)

just asking, you have no new gossip on cheryl & lance?
your mom says that they are a bore.

xox
t.w

a typical email from my mom

"i wonder how tom let katie be in this movie
(it was probably filmed before their relationship began)

i've heard that he's the ultimate control freak, re writing her scripts,
having her study scientology for hours a day.
maybe rumors but he grosses me out.

love
mom"

I mean, DUH.