dear amicus (r.i.p.), remind me why suicide is not an option

• ExBoy now has new cuddling/happy photos posted with a Seriously Unattractive Girl on facebook.
  
• The one guy I genuinely like (The Southerner) is apparently considering getting back together with his ex-girlfriend. (Why oh why didn't I listen to you from the beginning?!)
• Work seriously sucks yet they refuse to fire me and I want to find another job before I quit.
• T has sabotaged my social life.
• I am enormous and can't flip the healthy switch.
• My birthday is quickly approaching and I am getting OLD.