Museum of Finding Ass

The First Friday of every month at the MFA is apparently Boston's #1 singles scene and a major meet/meat market. I did not realize this going into it.

I did realize something was fishy when, 3 minutes after my arrival, I had a man make loud, leering kissing noises at me.

5 minutes in, a woman approached me and asked me, "How old is too old for a man who wants to date you? Because my boss thinks you're beautiful. And he'll buy you drinks."

10 minutes in, a man said, "I'm sure you get this all the time, but you look exactly like Penelope Cruz." Why no, I don't get that all the time. Because I don't look a thing like Penelope Cruz.

15 minutes in, a fat old man approached me and my friend and proceeded to have the nerve to think he was anywhere approximating Hot/Interesting Enough to merit a close-talking discussion. We walked away to "go find our friends" and he shot us dirty looks the rest of the night.

18 minutes in, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum sidled up and declared that "the art here sucks. Not that I know much about art, but it sucks." Here's a tip: we're the wrong girls to say that to, jackass.

and so on. I have never felt so adored and so skeeved out.