retro

I'm the absolute worst of keeping in touch with old friends. But it's nice, sometimes, to talk to people who knew you Way Back When, because they remind you of who you were then.. and who you still might be. I spoke with my best non-Beet high school friend for a couple hours online last night.

are you engaged to be wed? are you a trophy wife yet?
are YOU married yet or what
(ps good god i hope we never get old enough to ask one another if we're married for real and have the answer be, nope, single)
i think your ps says a lot about you
what do you mean
that i don't want to end up alone?
yes
you'd be such a hip single!
i am probably one of the few girls my age who found the sex and the city girls a little pathetic

i am very proud of you, for continuing to write
and jealous
i like jealousy
but i hope it inspires
because deeep down, you are a better writer than me
why did you ever stop? you totally rocked my world
i envied you immensely
there were, like, at least 10 times during college that i thought about calling you and saying "read my novel" because i figure you'd be famous before me and put a quote on the back cover

getting older is becoming a little absurd i think
how so
thinking about the past doesn't feel much like memories anymore. more like movies of someone else
movies that i really want to watch
let's just say
the present tense is becoming a little too present

I mean, DOESN'T HE EVEN TYPE LIKE A CHARACTER IN A MOVIE?!

We ended up having this very intense discussion re: medication, and I was somehow able to say things to him that I really have not felt able to say to anyone. And I don't know if it's because I feel like he still knows me so well, so I feel comfortable with him, or because he doesn't know who I am now at all, so I don't feel threatened, or a little of both, in a weird way.

He said this, and doesn't it sound like something I would say? Or have said?:

i thought: i'd really like to travel. to LA. to africa. to antartica. and i'll never be able to do that unless i take some medication. there's no fucking reason to be so hesistant. if i can take a pill a day that doesn't make me happy, but allows me to be happy but physiologically prevent me from being unahppy, then sign me up

He made me laugh:

because you're an artiste
and the rest of the people may as well live in the midwest

and laugh:

you've got good wit too
you sometimes hide it in your parenthesis
but i like that

And laugh:

more than anything else
there was one problem
but might not be a problem for you
i lost my ability to get a good erection
so i went to see the doctor
and he said that he coudl put me on viagra
and so there I was
on a sunny day
in his office
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thinking man, i'm 23
all he has to do is fucking write the word viagra and sign it and then i'm back in business
but then i'd be on viagra
but here's the convincer what shoud convince you to at least consider medication
i thought: wow, i've never felt this good in my whole life. i'm just so much calmer and happy to experience life. i'd rather have this than a good erection
that's how good i felt
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